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Learning To Fly

How do I begin my story? I don't even know where to start fully...When did I know I was gay? When did I realize that not only was I gay, but that I was in fact going to fully immerse myself in an alternative lifestyle as not only a gay man but a submissive, cock-loving, masochistic gay man?The first time my boyfriend in college suggested that I had been very naughty and was pissing him off with my attitude, and that if my attitude didn't improve soon, that he would have to put me over his knee and see what kind of attitude adjustment my ass could suggest to me. I'm sure some of you can understand that one. The fully body SALUTE!

Greg had always been able to get that sort of reaction out of me. He was exactly my type: clean, cut, masculine, tall, dark, handsome... Oh where was I? Right, simply put, gorgeous with a dominant streak in him a mile wide, even if he did not recognize it. Even though he had always been able to get that type of reaction out of me, this time it was as if he had struck me with a lightning bolt.I completely froze and I think what got his attention was the sudden inhalation from me that was rather noisy. He looked up from his bed and stared at me and quirked an eyebrow.

"You liked the sound of that, didn't you?" I couldn't meet his eyes as they taunted me as he got up from the bed and walked to stand directly in front of me. I could feel my face turning red from embarassement. "Well....?"

"Yeah....yeah I di-" My voice cut off as he ran his hand up the front of my jeans. Well if he doubted my sincerity that doubt was just eliminated as he chuckled feeling how rigid I was.

"Heh...nice...too bad I have class here in a bit otherwise I'd be taking full advantage of this babe.Stay hard for me?"He pressed a quick kiss to my lips and started picking up all of this papers for class, ready to step out the door.

Greg and my's dabbles into the realm of BDSM started that night. Unfortunately our relationship didn't last after a fragile trust was definitely broken. Apparently he had bought into a lot of the stories you read online written where the Dom honestly believes his sub cannot go without drinking the Dom's piss, playing with knives, and in general being treated like a total piece of shit. Um... fuck no. That ain't me.

***

"You lil' slut! Look at your dick! I cannot believe you can actually get that tiny piece of meat hard!" At that point I couldn't believe it either. What the hell? Was this the Greg that I thought I knew? I mean, really?!

"Greg...Look this really is-" SMACK! At first I couldn't believe it until I brought my own hand up to feel the warmth that his backhand had raised to my cheek.I started as I noticed the streak of red that came back. His class ring from high school that he always wore must have cut my face. "Greg..." My voice simply trailed off as I raised my hand to my cheek again.

Was this really what it was supposed to be like? I stayed kneeling and took a deep breath. Greg hadn't said a word but stayed standing in front of me. Lately things had been changing.Subtly at first but now...thing's were changing.

"Look at me you piece of shit!" I snapped my neck up to look at him quickly getting more pissed. I hated the feeling of not being sure whether to get angry or almost wanting to cry in hurt."What part of open your mouth didn't you understand? Now open your mouth"

Greg had read some where about watersports and it had been an immediate turn on for him whereas for me, it was and instant ugh factor times 1000! Last night I gave in and decided I would try it once. I didn't get a chance to swallow or really even have it in my mouth for more than a second before I promptly vomited up everything I had had to eat for dinner.Guys, if you've ever had your boy vomit in the bedroom, you know just how much of a mood killer this is usually.

Now, a day later, we were back at square one.I still couldn't get myself to open my mouth and Greg was starting to push it harder. As a knelt there I realized that this really wasn't what I wanted out of a D/s relationship and that he and I needed to stop and have a serious talk.I got up and held up my hands. "Greg we need to stop right now...this is not what I want."

"What do you mean it's not what you want?! Of course you want this! You said you did, now get back down on your knees right now!"

Something inside just lit up as he yelled at me.This wasn't a turn on for me, nor was it what I wanted with my submission and eventually what I wanted in my life.I realized that I'm not a freakin' doormat as cliche as that sounds.

I stood up and walked out the door only to realize that my having walked out the door didn't mean Greg was going to leave me alone at this point.

My troubles had only began...

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